The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark

This was very simply a lovely book to read. It takes place in 1945 just after the Second World War. We enter into the lives of the girls of the May of Tech club, which is essentially a girl’s hostel. The girls live within limited means, often exchanging rations and sharing one Schiaparelli dress for an evening out. Nicholas Farrington, a writer who is introduced to the club by Jane Wright, a publisher, falls in love with the May of Tech club and is intrigued by it and its members and we get to view the girls through his eyes.  Muriel Spark uses amusing snippets from life within the club to reveal to us the everyday happenings within, like spreading margarine over their bodies so the girls can slip out the lavatory window to sunbathe on the roof, and the older members of the club bricking up the skylight to the roof as it was rumoured a burglar (or lover) had entered through it. It is youthful and lighthearted in places, yet Spark aptly includes slices of poetry throughout the book that culminate in a dramatic ending. All the events that take place in the club seem like unrelated stories at first but they are all skillfully brought together in the end. It is cleverly written, switching from the present to the past and my only disappoint was that it was such a short book.

Uniquely you

Something I love to do is sit in the park or in a coffee shop window and watch all the people as they bustle by. I am amazed at just how many people there are on this planet; and even more intrigued by how completely unique each individual is. We each possess a nose, two eyes and a mouth, yet we are all incredibly different. Some are short, some are round, some are slim, and some are dark. Some are eccentric, others are straight laced; but no one is the same.

How strange it is then that most of us trade this originality for a boxed in existence as we try to imitate those around us. How fantastically boring life would be if we were all the same; and we’ve heard it before, if you try to be like someone else you will always be second best.

I believe that we were all made to be and achieve things that only we can do, and to reach that potential we should embrace the freedom of our unique differences.

My gorgeous friend hid a secret from the rest of us throughout our entire high school careers; she was a closet heavy metal fan!!! Although this isn’t a serious revelation, it was a shocking one for the rest of her Hanson loving, BackStreet Boys singing BFF’s! My friend is soft spoken, a kindhearted person with the most gentle nature. She is the kind of person who cries during her favourite soap and would grow faint at the mere mention of blood-she has ironically since become a doctor (she is apparently full of surprises). To discover that her favourite song was Violent Pornography by System of a Down was surprising to say the least. I’m not sure if she hid this because she didn’t want to risk being different from our group of friends; but I think we do sometimes suppress our likes, bend our beliefs and hide our desires from friends just so we can “fit in”.

When I visited The National Gallery recently something that struck me was the women in the paintings. None of them were slim and toned but rather more round and voluptuous. Convinced that an artist would not paint women that were all considered “ugly”, it must have been beautiful to have a little more meat on your bones, unlike today. Millions of women strive to achieve a beautiful body with exhausting and restricting diets because we are sold the image of conventional beauty as being skinny. I for one am very bad tempered when hungry and think it would be cruel to those around me if I were on a perpetual diet. But this is about more than just whether you are a size 8 or 12; it’s about being true to yourself and standing out amongst the millions of people around you. Hope this has encouraged you even a tiny bit to enjoy being unique. 

My Champion

 

It may be a bit clichéd, but I do believe there is a little part inside a man –probably left over from when men were warriors and would go to battle over land- that needs to find where he’s going without stopping to ask for directions. I think they need to figure it out for themselves and show their ladies that they can figure out how to get to the location, or fix the computer, or assemble the chest of drawers without any outside assistance. Girls are different. We’re not bothered who aids us, as long as we get there, or the drawers get built.

But men are conquerors, it’s in their genetic makeup; seeping through the centuries from the days when conflicts were fought and conquests were common place.

But for the average middle class male there is no battle, there are no conquests. There is only the exhilaration of programming the T.V without reading the instructions.

As a supportive wife I will follow proudly as my husband refuses to ask for directions; and we will eventually get there in the end. But sometimes I just want to go into the store, find the section with the duvet sets and get out of there. And as my husband strides down the aisle in search of the bounty; I will slip off to the side to find a shop assistant to help me. And once I have subtly led him to our destination, I will not argue when he thinks he has found it himself. What use are shop assistants anyway!

We will leave the store triumphant, my husband clutching the prize, content in his victory.

Another day, another battle won……

We Had It So Good by Linda Grant

Stephen Newman is an American born to immigrant parents. He sets sail on the SS United States as a ships steward and takes up a Rhodes scholarship at Oxford. He meets Andrea, the awkward red-head, whom he marries for convenience and the book tells the story of their lives, as well as the lives of their friends Ivan and Grace. It is a story about the baby boomer generation who wanted to change the world; who had high hopes and higher ideals. Linda Grant views everything through the eyes, and differing opinions, of the various characters. They, especially Stephen, Andrea and Ivan seem to have it all, but throughout the book Stephen is never fully satisfied; always longing for more and the life he envisioned for himself back in America. He constantly refers back to his “maroon and white SS United States cabin-boy” uniform he doesn’t fit into anymore, which symbolizes his once unknown future and the potential he possessed as a young man. Stephen and Andrea, who have humble beginnings and reject materialistic pursuits when newly married, end up owning a £3 million pound house in Islington. Ivan as a young man wanted to demolish capitalism; but enjoys a successful career in advertising and the wealth this brings him in his middle-age. Only Grace stays true to the 1960’s ideals they all shared in their youth. It was a book that drew me in immediately and I wanted to follow the lives of these characters through the decades to see how situations and circumstance would change them. I found that it had a quietly tragic tone as life doesn’t turn out how they had once hoped. It is an insightful and engaging book which I didn’t want to put down. Linda Grant does tend to change tenses often which can be a little confusing, but once you get used to it, it is thoroughly enjoyable and I would definitely recommend it.

A walk in the Park

I woke up feeling a little blue the other day. There is a point when the honeymoon phase of living in a new country disappears. We begin to get up at the same time, take the same route to work every day and the familiarity of routine becomes mundane. So my husband and I decided to go for a walk in the park. We went through Green Park and then found a spot under a tree in St James’ Park. We brought our books and I brought my notebook to do some writing; and enjoyed watching all the people pass me by. It was at this point that I felt a cup of take-away coffee would complete this movie like scene. I suggested this to my husband. There was a café close by.

“Would you like me to go get you some?” he asked.

“I bet it’ll be too expensive. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure, I can go get you some?”

“No it’s fine.” I decided it was an unnecessary expense as coffee always smells better than it tastes and I often prefer the thought of a cup of coffee than the actual drink itself. I blame television for this.

After enough time had elapsed for my husband to get completely immersed in his book again I said, “Maybe you could just go see how much it costs.”

Have I mentioned he is a very patient man?

He called me from the café to let me know his coffee pricing discoveries.

“You really shouldn’t call me like this,” I said. “I’m here with my husband. He might catch me talking to you.” He laughed. He had to; it’s in the marriage contract. We like to play silly games.

I was right; the coffee was a little over priced - on account of all the tourists I should imagine. He returned empty handed and we continued reading and people watching. I decided to make myself some coffee when we got home.

We ended the day eating pies on the stairs of Trafalgar Square with Big Ben in front of me (my most favourite London landmark).  I had one of the many moments I have here where I can’t actually believe I’m in London; and I was reminded why we moved here. Going to work the next day I wasn’t feeling so blue anymore.

We took our camera with to the park and took some pictures. Here’s what we saw…..

How cute are these chairs. I thought they looked like a scene from the 1930's or something. You did have to pay to sit on them though.  

We went to have a cuppa with the Queen but she wasn't in. Oh well, maybe next time...

Yeah baby!!!!!!!

This little squirrel was super friendly, although he was being coaxed with food. 

Some boys fetched a ball out the water and were drying their socks. I thought it made a cute shot....

All in all a very good day.

Too young for surgery

I was disgusted when I saw the story of Sarah Burge on This Morning a couple of weeks ago, who has bought her 7 year old daughter a boob job for when she turns 18. There are many instances when surgery is totally acceptable and many women are completely happy with their decision to have this procedure. Who knows, many years from now and a few kids later, I may even want a little bit of a chest lifting myself!

What I do find disturbing about this story is what this woman is teaching her young daughter about her body image at such a young age. She is basically being told that she is not good enough; that she needs surgery to be beautiful and that she is not perfect just the way she is. When this 7 year old girl looks in the mirror what must she see; a list of flaws that need to be corrected before she can be accepted for who she is?

There was another instance in America of a mother who is actually injecting her 7 year old with fillers, Botox and tattooing her eyebrows. What is upsetting is that this girl is not at the age when she can make this decision for herself and it is being made for her. She may never have wanted to have these procedures done but her mother, who should be protecting her daughter, is forcing this upon her. Doctors wisely refused to give the injections to the young girl and so this woman has bought the Botox online and is doing them herself. Besides the serious physical damage she could be doing to her daughter, she is also cementing a negative self image in her for life. And the reason she is doing all this? She wants her daughter to be famous. How ridiculous and completely selfish! This girl’s choices in life are being made for her. Her potential to become a Doctor, Designer or Lawyer is being narrowed by her mother’s desire for shallow fame. This really saddens me. I know that when I have a daughter I will make sure she knows that she is beautiful and that her character is what makes her special.

Addicted

My laptop is in for repairs. It’s the first computer that I have ever owned. My husband and I used to share one, but I always thought of it as “his” computer. I would hop on every now and again to quickly do something; but he was the one who could spend hours at a time on it.

I grew to hate this keyboarded mistress that was taking his attention away. I would poke and prod his face until, exasperated by the facial assault, he would concede and give me his undying attention. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not a neglected wife; I just like his undying attention.

The only problem is I am now the one that is totally addicted to my laptop. I am consumed by the endless options of the World Wide Web. Any question I have ever had is answered instantaneously by a simple Google search. I am now the one who has a keyboarded mistress; staying up till 12:30am, staring at an illuminated screen through puffy sleep deprived eyes.

My husband doesn’t seem to mind my new found preoccupation. He hasn’t said a word indicating any distress about my lack of spousal attention. In fact, I think he likes the peace and quiet. I think his face is enjoying not being poked if nothing else.

I miss my laptop……..

L.O.V.E.

I found these photos when I was stumbling around on the internet, thought they were lovely! People in love makes me feel all toasty inside (I'm a girl, I can't help it).

Norwegian Wood written by Haruki Murakami

A story about a young man, Toru Watanabe, who is transported back to his student days in Tokyo when he hears his first loves favourite song; Norwegian Wood. It is set in the 1960’s, at a time of student uprisings and free love. When an impetuous young woman called Midori marches into his life, he is forced to choose between the future and the past.

This book has received great reviews. Murakami is ranked“among the world’s greatest living novelists”(Guardian). I was therefore very eager to read this novel. However, much like the time I saw the musical ‘Cats’, I didn’t see what all the fuss was about. I felt like Louis Walsh at the end and I “just didn’t get it.”

When we watch “reality” TV shows we know that most of it is scripted to make it a little more dramatic. If a camera were to genuinely follow a person around, it would be considerably more boring as, let’s face it, everyday life is not that exciting. When reading ‘Norwegian Wood’ I felt as if I was reading someone’s account of his very ordinary and mundane life. I kept waiting for something to happen, but it never did. I even started to guess what I thought was going to happen, and enjoyed my story a bit more. I have never stopped reading a book half way through and trudged on, still expecting the ending to be profound and thought provoking. The conclusion felt rushed and left me disappointed. The main characters were very believable and engaging, but other characters were introduced who didn’t add anything to the story and it felt more of a chore than a pleasure to read.

Blind Dating For Friends

Moving to a new country is tough, especially one where you don’t know that many people. Growing up in the same place for 27 years means that you know a lot of people. There are always friends available to see and many plans to choose from on a Saturday night. There would be weekends back home when I would ask my husband if it could “just be the two of us this weekend”. A quiet weekend at home with no social events; just for a change. (Being a bit of a home body I probably asked him this every weekend. He thankfully declined this request on most occasions, and we would go out).

However, I seem to have gotten my wish here in London as meeting people is a bit of a process; and there are many weekends where it is “just the two of us”. Thankfully we are not just a married couple but also the best of friends, or else boredom would have ensued. So we have loads of fun together; but there comes a time when you need the company of others.

And so it begins, accepting ANY and every social invitation offered to you. It could be people you just met or people your husband knew from high school who he hasn’t seen or heard from in 10 years. But you go anyway, or else it’s you, a cup of tea and ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ on a Saturday night. It usually goes something like this: *Jenny and Michael invite you out for dinner. They seem nice, albeit a little dull; and Jenny has an irritating laugh. But you have high hopes for these new potential friends and you start to tick off the boxes

o    Do we like these people?

o    Do we get on, do we have any common interests?

o    Will they just be acquaintances, people we invite to make up the numbers?

o    Would we invite them to Christmas dinner?

o    Would I invite them to my Birthday?

o    Would we never invite these people to anything? Ever.

X  We don’t like Jenny and Michael. We won’t be seeing them again…….

Meeting new people is made even more difficult here in London. It seems to be a very fluid place. People are constantly moving in and out, settling for 6 months or 2 years then moving back home.

Not too long ago we accepted one of these invitations and met some new people. We struck up a conversation with another couple and found we had a few things in common. We liked these people, and yes we would invite them out again, maybe even to my birthday, or Christmas dinner!!!!!!!!!!

“So how long have you been living in England for?” we asked, with high hopes for our new found friendship.

“It’s coming up to a year next month,” they replied.

We “ooohed” and “aaaahed” appropriately. “How are you enjoying it?” we asked

“Really loving it, but looking forward to going home. We’re going back in June this year.”

And that was that, back to square one; and back to tea with ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ on Saturday night.

 Now where did I put Jenny and Michaels number??

*names have been made up as these people are fictitious. ;)

Feeling Sexy No Matter What

When I first heard of the show ‘How to Look Good Naked’ I thought it was one of ‘those’ shows that my brothers’ would have watched and I never thought of seeing what it was all about.

I only saw it for the first time a few months ago and I became an instant fan. Gok Wan is an inspiration! What I love about him is the way he shows women how to really love what God gave them, no matter what shape or size they happen to be. He never once suggests diets or surgery but just to embrace what assets they have and flaunt it.

I don’t know about you, but I had no clue as to what my body shape was and was always buying the latest trends whether it suited my body or not. It looked great on the models and I hoped it would look great on me too. But the model didn’t have big boobs, round hips and a flat bottom. But I do!

Now that I know my shape and what clothes to avoid I can look in the mirror with a little more confidence than before. If you don’t know what body shape you are check it out here.

It’s time to embrace our bodies ‘flaws’ and all and love what God gave you, because it’s ALL beautiful!

I don't sound like a New Zealander......

......so it confuses me that 80% of the people I meet ask if I come from New Zealand. You can ask any of the New Zealanders I work with, we don’t sound the same. This is the first time I’ve even left my country, so it amazes me that I have magically picked up this new accent. But this is not the oddest part of these conversations I so frequently have here…..

“So are you from …..(dramatic pause as they try to pick the correct country)…..New Zealand?”

ME: “No I’m from South Africa.”

“Oh Wow! (Another pause) I have a friend that went to South Africa.”

It is at this point that I’m not sure how to respond. Should I phone this friend and carry on the conversation with them instead? We would apparently have a lot more to talk about.

“That’s nice,” I say. “Did they enjoy it?”

“I think so.” And then they conclude, “You really don’t have a South African accent.”

And as I change the subject I can’t help but wonder how they are so certain if they haven’t actually ever been.

A Royal Affair

Well the Royal wedding has come and gone, and what a beautiful occasion it was. From the moment it was announced in November I couldn’t believe I would be in the country to witness such an historical event! I will admit that I love the royal family and don't understand those people who aren't as equally intrigued as I am. I find the Monarchy a wonderful tradition full of history, pomp and ceremony!
It was fantastic to watch the build up to the wedding the week before. Every talk show was discussing the same subject and everyone seemed to be giddy with anticipation - though whether this was due to the upcoming wedding or the numerous bank holidays I am not entirely sure. It may have been the holidays.
But nevertheless everyone in the country was in a party mood and had a fantastic day, even the crazies who had camped out on the street for a week!! (There were certainly some interesting sites on the streets of London.)
I didn't get the chance to venture to Westminster as a) being so short I would have probably enjoyed the view of the persons head in front of me for the entire event, and b) some of us had to work you know........
But my dear and slightly insane hubby did take a trip down and took some nice shots!

The crowds

This doggy has amazing balance! He was being pushed around on the bike like this all through the crowd. 

Isn't she cute. Her parents were selling flags on the street and she had obviously had enough!

"William and Kate"

More people on the streets of London

And this morning we went down to get the Sunday paper with a free magazine included inside with all the pics and articles about the wedding! (It is at this point that I must add that I felt quite grown up doing this. When I was younger I would often daydream about being married; and it would often include dreaming about getting the paper on a Sunday morning, lying in bed and perusing the pages. Although I must admit that this is probably the one and only time we will ever buy the newspaper.)